Who's Your Daddy?

The buzz around news desks, the blogosphere and the punditdome is the $1 million donation News Corporation, owner of Fox News, The New York Post and Wall Street Journal made to the Republican Governor’s Association in June.

This is causing a lot of tittering, sniggering and giddy schoolgirl laughter from liberals and other free thinking humans that Fox News, a network accused of bias toward Republicans is actually giving a yachtful of money to Republicans.

In fact, the donation has caused many to note that Fox News is admittedly in the GOP’s pocket. It’s no secret that the pundits such as Bill O’Reilly, Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity are Republicans who interview Republicans and push the Republican agenda of less taxes, less government regulation and less minorities besotting God’s glorious nation of America.

Fox News is not “Fair and Balanced” as the network’s moniker proclaims, but functions as a spin machine and Ministry of Propaganda for the Republican Party.

How bad is Fox News from an objective and newsgathering standpoint? The well-dressed mannequin robots and beauty queens are specifically programmed to regurgitate clichés, banal extractions of partisan hackery and inane observations and blend them together in a pile of foul stinking offal that doesn’t remotely resemble fair play or journalistic ethics.

This is the same Fox News that employs Sarah Palin, Newt Gingrich and Mike Huckabee, all three of them potential presidential candidates in 2012. How can a news organization claim it’s “Fair and Balanced” when the politicians, the very people journalists and networks should keep at arm’s length, are right under their noses?

It’s true that Fox News wraps itself in the American flag, hires conservative pundits and kisses more right wing ass than a retreat with the Log Cabin Republicans. Yet its smugness and inflated bravado when speaking for and about the United States, only serves its target audience and ratings. Its content is tailored specifically for a certain political agenda, a kind of “tell me what I want to hear” ethos. The network parades itself around as the top rated news network, yet there’s very little objective news. Its content is mostly opinion and political commentary from anchors that look like yuppie serial rapists.

The $1 million donation to the Republican Governor’s Association was a clarion call for watchdogs who’ve known News Corporation was biased towards Republicans, that it was only pretending to be a serious news organization.

News Corporation spokesman Jack Horner (no relation to ‘Little Jack Horner’ of nursery rhyme fame) said his company donated $1 million because “the RGA’s pro-business agenda supports our priorities at the most critical time for our economy.”

And what would those priorities be? More snappy Obama insults during Fox & Friends? More dour-faced reporters interviewing hedonistic Hollywood moguls? More politicians who want to chip away at the citizenship and equal protection clause of the 14th Amendment?

Yet we can’t blame Fox News for being the parasitic whores they are. It’s in their nature and part of capitalism to shuck journalistic standards for money. More power to them for being an entertaining puppet show for the right wing. Without Fox News, conservatives all over this great land would be watching an endless loop of “Triumph of the Will” and shooting dusky hued immigrants with BB guns.

But the so-called “liberal media networks” such as CNN and MSNBC also donated to political candidates. They have their own blank-faced idiots and raw sewage masquerading as special reports and hard news. Anyone who watches Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow knows that snark, whining and urbane witticisms will save the day and secure the 21 to 40 year-old demographic until The Daily Show with Jon Stewart comes on.

Time Warner, the parent company of CNN, donated $70,500 to Democratic candidates and $41,500 to Republican candidates this year.

General Electric, owners of NBC donated $688,900 to Democrats and $410,100 to Republicans for the 2010 election cycle.

Viacom, parent company of CBS donated $108,700 to Democrats and $64,000 to Republicans this year.

And Disney, home of Mickey Mouse and owners of ABC, gave $110,500 to Democrats and $95,000 to Republicans.

News Corporation’s $1 million donation pales in comparison to the money given to Democrats by media outlets, proving they’re all a bunch of pandering sluts.

Corporate media PACs lobby politicians for influence when it comes to media regulations or legislation that affect networks or communications.

That’s the real problem here. The system is based upon donations and buying influence and paying for your agenda. By donating anything – even $1 to politicians – news organizations discredit themselves. These giant media behemoths influence society by starting the national dialog on various issues. They have a tremendous platform with which to espouse viewpoints, whether liberal, conservative or batshit crazy. Such an awesome responsibility demands tempering through insight and objectivity. It demands an atmosphere where news organizations lead by example and prove they have no connections with political outsiders who might push their agendas.

Politicians are corrupt to the core, dwelling in a self-perpetuating system of cronyism, naked partisanship and troughs of money. News organizations shouldn’t be obligated to buy influence with such wretched people. Journalists write stories about how awful pay-to-play is upon our political process. Now that they’re part of the same cesspool, it smacks of hypocrisy.