Sunday, October 5, 2008

Obama Will Enslave You

If elected president, Barack Obama will enslave all white people.
That’s one concern I heard recently from a scared woman who thinks the first black president will settle a score and correct an injustice by making all white people slaves.
In this age of terrorism and our faltering economy, do you think the first thing Obama would do would be to repeal the 13th Amendment?
The white slavery angle is handcrafted bullshit slung by Obama’s opponents in a presidential race that’s gotten uglier than Amy Winehouse at a rave.
Not willing to stick to the issues and crush Obama for his liberal stances on, well, everything, the Republicans are turning to their standard playbook of slinging mud and hoping something sticks.
Not that Obama’s camp hasn’t been slogging in the gutter with their attacks against John McCain’s technological ineptitude. Wow! The old fart can’t use a computer! What a scandal!
Personally, I don’t want my Commander-in-Chief to sit on his ass surfing the Internet. I want him to run the country. Knowing how to add a bookmark to your browser is insignificant compared to getting out of Iraq and making sure more American jobs aren’t shipped over to Taiwan.
Since the first presidential debate was a tie and the vice presidential debate was a clear win for Joe Biden, the Republicans are getting desperate. With one month to go before the election, they’re orchestrating an October surprise.
Now the Republicans are making hay out of Obama’s contact with William Ayres, a 1960s radical and one of the founders of the Weathermen, a terrorist group responsible for a number of bombings.
Sarah Palin referred to Obama’s contact with Ayres recently: “Our opponent is someone who sees America as imperfect enough to pal around with terrorists who targeted their own country.”
Ayres served with Obama for three years on an anti-poverty foundation beginning in 1993. Ayres donated money to Obama’s 2001 state senate campaign.
A spokesperson for the Obama campaign said the last time Obama had contact with Ayres was in 2007, when they saw each other while Obama went biking through the neighborhood.
Linking Obama with a domestic terrorist radical is a good move if you want undecided voters to question Obama’s loyalties.
Also having Obama’s former pastor, Rev. Jeremiah Wright, espouse anti-American views is also helpful if you want to question Obama’s patriotism.
Wright was Obama’s pastor for years before Obama discontinued their association after tapes of Wright’s sermons surfaced during the Democratic primary. In addressing the treatment of indigenous people and Africans during American history, Wright said: “The government gives them the drugs, builds bigger prisons, passes a three-strike law and then wants us to sing 'God Bless America.' No, no, no, not God Bless America. God damn America — that's in the Bible — for killing innocent people. God damn America, for treating our citizens as less than human. God damn America, as long as she tries to act like she is God, and she is supreme. The United States government has failed the vast majority of her citizens of African descent..”
Wright’s comments proved too controversial for Obama and he terminated his association with Wright’s church.
Obama befriends a radical black preacher and a radical domestic terrorist, the Republicans claim. John McCain would never associate with anyone like Bill Ayres or Jeremiah Wright. Would he?
Before John McCain produces campaign ads blasting Obama for his radical buddies, maybe he should look to John Hagee, founder of the Cornerstone Church in San Antonio.
Hagee endorsed John McCain. He also believes Hurricane Katrina was punishment from God and that the Roman Catholic Church was the “great whore” and a “false cult system”.
Here’s what Hagee said about Hurricane Katrina: "All hurricanes are acts of God because God controls the heavens. I believe that New Orleans had a level of sin that was offensive to God and they were recipients of the judgment of God for that."
McCain eventually denounced Hagee’s endorsement.
Unlike Ayres and Wright, who were polarizing figures, Hagee did not speak against America, a big red flag when it comes to turning the electorate against your candidate.
First, Obama’s refusal to wear a silly American flag lapel pin caused an uproar among conservatives who believe those little pins are tiny totem objects of cultural significance. Then, it was Obama’s connection with Wright and now it’s his association with Ayres, the domestic terrorist American-hating radical.
What’s next? Saying Obama will enslave all white people?
Republicans should take a time out and look at their own candidates and their penchant for using fear to persuade. John McCain lost his party’s nomination in 2000 because George Bush’s camp spread a rumor in South Carolina that McCain had a black baby. Totally untrue. He adopted a girl from Bangladesh. Still, the redneck branch of the Republican party were suitably offended and voted for Bush, whose father became president in 1988 running on an ad criticizing Democrat Michael Dukakis’s support for a weekend furlough program for prisoners. The ad showed a mugshot of Willie Horton, a black man, who was given a furlough from prison. The ad’s announcer explained how Horton kidnapped a young couple, stabbed the man and raped the woman all while he used his weekend pass. It was the only time the word “raping” was used in a political ad, and it was fucking disturbing for a number of reasons. Dukakis supported putting murderers on the streets? Yikes! Even though the prisoner furlough program began in the 1970s, it was the association between Dukakis' support and Horton's case that made the ad powerful. Guilt by association. What a tactic.
So why stick to the facts and the issues and outline your vision of America?
Why not just link your opponent to unpopular positions, unpopular associations and outright bullshit and rumors?
Here’s what I think the next McCain-Palin ad will be:

Sinister music plays. Still photo of BARACK OBAMA wearing a keffiyeh and holding a sub-machinegun.

ANNOUNCER: Barack Hussein Obama. He wants to be president of the United States. But how can he be? He’s not one of us.

Footage of African natives in loincloths holding spears and dancing in their village.

ANNOUNCER: His father was from Kenya.

Footage from D.W. Griffith’s “Birth of a Nation” showing a slave manhandling a white woman.

ANNOUNCER: His mother was a prostitute.

A montage of the Oklahoma City bombing, the Twin Towers falling down and the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor.

ANNOUNCER: Obama is friends with William Ayers and Rev. Jeremiah Wright, two radicals who want to destroy America.

Footage of Osama bin Laden with Obama superimposed Forrest Gump-style beside him.

ANNOUNCER: Obama not only wants to talk to rouge nations, but to befriend terrorists – the very enemies who attacked us.

Footage of a white family in chains laboring on a farm while Obama whips them and smiles.

ANNOUNCER: Obama not only will raise your taxes, but will make your family slaves. He’ll also keep your wives and daughters in his harem.

Footage of Obama with vampire fangs and a menacing stare. He looks at the camera as if he’s draining our souls.

ANNOUNCER: Barack Hussein Obama is not American. He’s evil to the core. Paid for by John McCain for President.

MCCAIN (VO): I’m John McCain and I approve this message.

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