Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Zen Cowboys & Industrial Shamans

Searching for poems on my harddrive for a poetry reading I wound up not going to last weekend, I stumbled across notes to a story I began some time ago. The name of the story, "Zen Cowboys & Industrial Shamans" was culled from notes I kept from a 1998 trip to Colorado. So here it was in front of me, a fantastic kernel of a story about technology and soul searching. I picked up from where I left off and massaged it into a pretty good, workable tale about a web designer from New Jersey who's in Denver for a convention, when he's summoned by a client to perform a job for a former Silicon Valley wizard who turned his back on the modern world and lives in a compound in the Rocky Mountains.
It's bizarre and funny and blends Eastern philosophy with modern technology and our dependence on said technology. The more I work on it, the cooler it becomes.
I would like to eventually take all of these short stories and publish them in a book. Maybe some day....some day....

Monday, November 27, 2006


Just finished watching the season one DVD of Carnivale. I'm very impressed with this show. It's bizarre, strange and magical. An epic battle between good and evil in the Dust Bowl during 1934. What other show has the Kurgan from Highlander playing an evil preacher? And Michael J. Anderson, better known for his work as the Man From Another Place on Twin Peaks, plays the carnival boss. Seeking more information about this show, I consulted the ultimate online guru, Wikipedia, and learned the show was cancelled after season two. What a shame that American Idol will be seen for the next century while an eclectic show like Carnival is toast.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Leading Man

Humphrey Bogart

You scored 42% Tough, 9% Roguish, 38% Friendly, and 14% Charming!
You're the original man of honor, rough and tough but willing to stick your neck out when you need to, despite what you might say to the contrary. You're a complex character full of spit and vinegar, but with a soft heart and a tender streak that you try to hide. There's usually a complicated dame in the picture, someone who sees the real you behind all the tough talk and can dish it out as well as you can. You're not easy to get next to, but when you find the right partner, you're caring and loyal to a fault. A big fault. But you take it on the chin and move on, nursing your pain inside and maintaining your armor...until the next dame walks in. Or possibly the same dame, and of all the gin joints in all the world, it had to be yours. Co-stars include Ingrid Bergman and Lauren Bacall, hot chicks with problems.

Find out what kind of classic dame you'd make by taking the
Classic Dames Test.

Link: The Classic Leading Man Test written by gidgetgoes on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Party Time!

Went to a housewarming party at my friend Christopher's house tonight. He's just moved and is living at his current address for about a month, so he decided to throw a small party. The night was filled with good conversation, interesting people and Mexican food. Homemade quesadillas are the best, along with homemade chili!
You know, I like people who talk about politics. I like hearing their arguments and their passion and their take on the issues of the day. The night was basically how the Republicans fucked up and how Bush is an idiot. Everyone I talked to, it was the same thing. And the points aren't as clearly argued as the Oxford Debating Society. It boils down to Bush + Cheney = idiots.
Or Bush + Iraq = stupid. Or Bush = idiot(squared).
Call me a heretic, but I don't think Bush is an idiot, not in the strictest sense. I don't think he sits in a corner, drools and plays with his penis, although some recent decisions made by his administration might seem to indicate this. No, I don't think he's purposefully stupid. He might suffer from dementia. He might not be the most elloquent speaker and might stumble over his words. Again, could be dementia.
You could look up speeches Bush gave as governor during the 1990s and you'll see a clear, crisp, sharp speaker. Then look at the speeches he gave while president and you'll see Corky from "Life Goes On." I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend Corky fans out there.
I think something is up with the president. I think he acts like a 'tard because he might be losing it and can't admit it because it'll make him look weak. FDR was crippled with polio, a secret his people kept cleverly hidden. Couldn't this be the same thing with Bush?
Bush has got to be losing it. Who else but someone with dementia refuse to admit what's going on in Iraq is not a civil war, when all evidence points to the contrary. Fact is, this administration is out of tricks. They've been playing Wizard of Oz so long, instructing the American people not to look behind the curtain, the same curtain that obscured the caskets of soldiers the news media couldn't photograph or the 9/11 Commission the president opposed or that maybe Osama bin Laden slipped away from us.
Well, the curtain's ripped open and the administration can't hide. The Democrats have Congress. Time to 'fess up and admit this thing in Iraq is a quagmire.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving

Since Thanksgiving is a time to reflect, I just thought I'd toss this out there:

I am thankful for my life. I am thankful for my health. I am thankful for my family. I am thankful for my talents. I am thankful for my job. I am thankful for my friends. I am thankful for the chance to learn about myself and my world. I am thankful for my voice. I am thankful for my country. I am thankful for my freedom. I am thankful for everything I've done and all I've yet to do. I am thankful for love. I am thankful for my faith. And as a comedian, I am thankful a well-timed penis joke can stir the crowd when your material fails to click.

Happy T-day, folks!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006


You are The Hermit

Prudence, Caution, Deliberation.

The Hermit points to all things hidden, such as knowledge and inspiration,hidden enemies. The illumination is from within, and retirement from participation in current events.

The Hermit is a card of introspection, analysis and, well, virginity. You do not desire to socialize; the card indicates, instead, a desire for peace and solitude. You prefer to take the time to think, organize, ruminate, take stock. There may be feelings of frustration and discontent but these feelings eventually lead to enlightenment, illumination, clarity.

The Hermit represents a wise, inspirational person, friend, teacher, therapist. This a person who can shine a light on things that were previously mysterious and confusing.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

That figures...

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

The Wingman

Gave a copy of my play, The Wingman, to a local theater director. She said she'd read it over and let me know if her company was interested in putting it on. Really, community theater has gotten such negative exposure everywhere. I recently went to The Gateway Playhouse in Somers Point to see a production of "Sex, Lies and the IRS" because one of my friends was in it, and everyone and I mean EVERYONE was a senior citizen. Don't young people appreciate theater? I guess they're too busy getting bombed at a bar or doing lines of coke to come out and see local theater.
Anyway, I'm really excited about seeing The Wingman on stage. It's the first thing I've written with Movie Magic Screenwriter. That's the best screenwriting software ever. Hey, if it's good enough for the guys from South Park, it's good enough for me.
The Wingman is the story of Mike and Geoff, two roommates who want to get women. Geoff agrees to be the wingman for his nebbishy roomie Mike, who just went through a divorce and is jaded with the dating scene. During their night at a club, Geoff repeatedly strikes out and proves himself the worst wingman in history. That is, until he meets Janine, who is also jaded of dating and has trust issues. They all spar over love, sex and what people really want and discover despite their differences, men and women need the same thing from each other.
I've started making notes on my next stage play, something a bit more involved and political and about the last election. More to come...

Monday, November 20, 2006


Just got back from Philcon, an annual science fiction convention held in Philadelphia. I was on four panels, three on gaming and one discussing the work of Robert Howard. Lotta geeks, but nice people. I played a great RPG, Tony DiGerolomo's Complete Mafia, a d20 game about mob life. We had a blast beating up a guy and trying to escape the Russian mob with a truck filled with stolen plasma TVs! It goes to show you that you can convert anything into an RPG and make it really exciting and fun to play.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Philly all the Way!

I am from southern New Jersey, after all!

What American accent do you have?
Your Result: Philadelphia

Your accent is as Philadelphian as a cheesesteak! If you're not from Philadelphia, then you're from someplace near there like south Jersey, Baltimore, or Wilmington. if you've ever journeyed to some far off place where people don't know that Philly has an accent, someone may have thought you talked a little weird even though they didn't have a clue what accent it was they heard.

The Northeast
The Midland
The Inland North
The South
The West
North Central
What American accent do you have?
Take More Quizzes

Wednesday, November 15, 2006


Which Sandman Character are You?

You are Dream! Many people see you as living in your own little world. Though you would never try to harm someone needlessly, you are not always aware of the consequences of your actions.
Take this quiz!

Quizilla |

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Monday, November 13, 2006


Now that I've got your attention...

I've written a few short erotica stories in the last few years. It's a genre I really never considered before. Most of my writing is journal writing, straight fiction or adventure fiction. I've even dabbled in a Lovecraft-inspired horror story. Erotica is something I thought too tawdry, but once I explored it in writing, it became deeper and meaningful in a certain way. Considering most of my work has humor in it, combining humor with erotica proved challenging. One of the first humorous stories with sex was My Bachelor Party, a true documentary on my bachelor party with some fiction bits thrown in. My second straight-up erotic story was called Night of Bacchus, a snapshot of college life as told by a group of friends into group sex. That one, unfortunately, was not autobiographical. I think personal erotica is the strongest because you're placing your own feelings and thoughts into the work. Many people are turned off by graphic descriptions of sex, but if you're writing about sex and the carnal experiences in question happen to be your own, you approach the work with authority. My latest erotica story is called Riding Veronica, and it's my most personal work to date. It's about reconnecting with an old love in the middle of our lives and rekindling passion after unsuccessful marriages. It's also about heartache and emotion, two things seemingly absent from erotica. I think for erotica to work, it can't simply be pornographic. There has to be an element of desire, of lust, and of willingness. Above all, it can't be a blow-by-blow gropefest. There has to be an element of passion.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

I Like Reading...

What Kind of Reader Are You?
Your Result: Obsessive-Compulsive Bookworm

You're probably in the final stages of a Ph.D. or otherwise finding a way to make your living out of reading. You are one of the literati. Other people's grammatical mistakes make you insane.

Dedicated Reader
Book Snob
Literate Good Citizen
Fad Reader
What Kind of Reader Are You?
Create Your Own Quiz

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Pulp Adventurecon

Went to Pulp Adventurecon in Bordentown today. It's a small show dedicated to sellers and fans of pulp fiction. I'm really into pulp and my RPG is a pulp-themed game called The Ravaged Earth Society. I checked out the convention and found it to be a pulp lover's paradise! Rows and rows of old magazines, reprints and paperbacks each one chocked full of thrilling adventure! The air was saturated with that old newsprint smell. Most of the crowd was older, like in their 50s and 60s, but they knew a lot about the Pulp Era. I just finished The Chinatown Death Cloud Peril and it was a fantastic book about the early pulp authors. I left the convention with two reprints of The Spider, one Shadow, Operator #5 and Doc Savage. I talked to the convention's organizer and he said he might change venues for next year, as the facilities were too small to accommodate the large crowd. For now, I have the adventures and wondrous tales to occupy my time. Only trouble is figuring out which one of these books to sink my pulp-loving teeth into...

Friday, November 10, 2006

Say Hello to My Little Friend...

I love Scarface. Al Pachino literally becomes Tony Montana. It's one of the most violent, gritty, rough films to watch, and yet there's a sort of tender and moral side to the Tony Montana character. Sure, he's a murderous drug dealer who squeaks his way to the top by taking down those he slaves for, but he wants his wife Elvira to be happy and he wants his family to share in his success. When he refuses to help a hired assassin kill the intended target because the target's wife and kids are in the car, Montana is taken down by the big Colombian kingpin for fucking up.
For the last few weeks my eyes bled playing Scarface for the XBox. It's compared to GTA but it's not the same, really. Sure, gameplay is a little monotonous with your character having to drive all over Miami selling coke, but the rewards are worth the tediousness. Scarface the game is better than The Godfather game by leaps and bounds. And like the movie, you get to go berserk and waste an army of guys as you take over Miami neighborhood by neighborhood. And when you travel to the islands to raid a coke baron's plantation, the fun is just beginning!

Thursday, November 9, 2006

Rummy Gone

Secetary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld resigned.
Somewhere in America Michael Moore just had a multiple orgasm.

Wednesday, November 8, 2006

Dems kick GOP ass!

Who wouldv'e thunk it? Six months ago, you'd have thought the Republicans would goosestep back into power, with a mandate to send the planet closer to Armageddon. But wait! What's that on the horizon? Democrats growing testicles! The upset by the Ds over the Rs was nothing short of brilliant and a watershed election in American politics. The people said the Democrats, a party without a vision, a clear plan on ending the war or an agenda for anything was a better choice than the party that's led Congress for the past 12 years. Just when you thought the donkey was dead, it rose up like some macabre zombie vowing to terrorize the town, but what they're terrorizing looks like entrenched Republicans. Santorum, DeWine and the rest fell flat while new blood poured in.
In New Jersey Senator Menendez flattened Tom Kean, Jr., but I wasn't surprised. I interviewed Kean and I can say this boy is weak. He's very weak. Like I'd be amazed if he's mature enough to grow pubic hair that's how much of a boy he is. He just seemed like the kind of guy who went to college, joined a frat and then spent years trolling on his daddy's yacht. Not that I have any disrespect for Kean, Sr. I admire Kean, Sr. very much. It's his son I can't figure out. And the strange thing is about Kean Jr. is we're both around the same age. He's a Gen Xer like myself. While we were in our twenties and in college, Kurt Cobain offed himself. When we were in our late twenties, the president of the United States admitted he got a knob-job from a White House intern. And we both came into our thirties during 9/11. So we've seen the country change during the prime of our lives. Yet I can't imagine why Kean Jr. was such a tool, spouting rhetoric after carefully rehearsed rhetoric. It's like they drained the passion out of him and replaced him with a clone spewing hackneyed slogans and slinging mud at the Democrats.
And that's the whole Greek tragedy of the election. The mighty Republicans, the party of morality and Christian love and compassion fell under the weight of scandal, hypocrasy and weak leadership. In fighting the enemies of Rome, they became as drunk with power and as corrupt as the Romans themselves and they did themselves in.
An unpopular war and an even more unpopular president and an arrogance unmatched in recent U.S. history is what did them in. Oh, and it doesn't help to have a Congressman resign after sending selacious e-mails to underage pages, either!

Sunday, November 5, 2006


That's Captain Jack Sparrow to you. Just hearing the sound of your name is enough to send a chill up the spine of good, law-abiding colonials. Well, not so much a chill up the spine, but it's very likely to get them rolling their eyes, at least. Fever-addled and nonsensical at first appearance, your wits-- and the healthiest dose of luck on the Spanish Main-- keep you afloat no matter what life throws at you. Unless the rum's gone.

Which Pirates of The Caribbean Character Are You?
Find out at Shiver My Timber-- A Pirate RPG