Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Dick Jokes Galore!

New York Congressman Anthony Weiner got caught sexting a bevy of women. If you don't know what sexting is, ask a teenager - they're probably doing it right now.

Weiner's lack of judgment to engage in posting lewd correspondence online didn't stop at the written word. Not content with chatting up bimbos with flirtatious banter that read like a really awful "Dear Penthouse" letter, Weiner sent photos of his erect penis, then denied the offending organ, which was tucked in a banana hammock, was his.

First, I'm amazed men would even contemplate sending photos of their junk to females. First Brett Favre, now Anthony Weiner. What do they expect to accomplish by flashing their dicks via the Internet, a cluster of naughty pixels meant to stimulate a women into orgasmic frenzy? It only shows that these morons are clueless when it comes to women. Men are visually-oriented. We can look at a picture of a lingerie model and become instantly stimulated. Women, on the other hand, are more cerebral and are aroused with a touch or an aroma. They're about imagination and letting themselves go. Men just need to be in visual range of a Hooter's waitress.

Even more disturbing than Weiner's poor online chatting habits are the news media's coverage of this scandal. Most commentators, journalists and editors are regressing back to junior high school and treating the story like a constantly multiplying dick joke. Because his name is Weiner - as in dick, get it? - the media sees this as carte blanche with the wee-wee references. If his name were Throbbington Hardwang IV or Titus Hugemember or Biggels Thickscrotum, I don't think it would have the same effect as Weiner.

The New York Post's headlines reflect a juvenile proclivity for bad taste. Weiner was manna from heaven for the headline writers. The following headlines actually appeared in the Post:

"Weiner: I'll Stick It Out"
"Weiner Exposed"
"Weiner's Pickle"
"Hide the Weiner"
"Weiner Pulls Out"
"Obama Beats Weiner"

Apparently in the New York Post's editorial department, dick jokes never get stale. What if the headline writer uses these stories in their portfolios for future employment?

"I'm exceedingly happy about this one. It's a doozy! 'Obama Beats Weiner'. Yep. My first headline double entendre referencing masturbation. Took me a pack of cigarettes and two bottles of Bud Light to think that prize-winner up!"

The media is supposed to explain, expose and inform, not act as comedian with a 10-minute set about how a politician's name sounds like slang for male genitals.

Making fun of Anthony Weiner is easy, and he probably deserves it. He betrayed the public's trust by engaging in improper online relationships like a horny college student. He must resign office and fade into the political woodwork as soon as possible.

His career in politics is over. He can't run in the wake of the scandal. What would his campaign slogan be? "Anthony Weiner: The reformer you want, the boner shots you need!"

But the media should at least attempt to be professional and not snigger like a group of school boys sitting in sex education class. Nothing is humorous about a politician falling from grace due to lascivious urges, losing their marriages, friendships and the public's trust. Except if the politician's name is Irving Sloppytwat.

That's shit's funny.

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