America the Lazy

Remember the good old days, say 1985, when Americans had a sense of manners and did the right thing simply because it was the right thing to do?

Remember when we weren't a nation of self-absorbed, obsessed dicks pepper spraying our way through a Walmart to get some stupid plastic piece of shit manufactured in China?

Remember when America had standards, a timeless sense of finesse and aplomb?

Those days of the Protestant work ethic and social etiquette are deader than Judge Reinhold's career. We're a nation that simply doesn't give a shit, about ourselves, about each other and about our impending crash and burn on the world stage.

America now is like a sloppy drunk Hollywood celebrity staggering out of her limo and flopping onto the red carpet, face marred with white powder and naked crotch exposed for the paperazzi. We're an international trainwreck because we've let our standards plummet disastrously.

Here are four signs that America is on the path to cultural and social suicide:

1. Our Food Sucks. I'm not talking about the quality. If you like the McRib, that's a personal preference of shoddy tastebuds and low income. I'm talking about presentation. We are a nation of wraps, where food is slopped into a doughy rap and rolled up and consumed. The sandwich is too complicated. Mass producing these slipshod wraps takes little effort and I want my food-slinging professionals to earn their minimum wage. Also, the bowls. Kentucky Fried Chicken has mashed potato bowls stuffed with chicken strips and corn. Just plopped into a bowl like some sad bachelor and consumed in bitter silence in front of the TV while Ultimate Fighting Championship is on. Wraps and bowls show no effort. It's like slackers control our food industry.

2. We're Note Polite. We as a society lack basic courtesy. When we cut in line at the supermarket to buy our frozen wraps, do we not offer a slight apology? No! America is becoming a very rude, naughty little boy who smears feces on the drapes just to get a reaction. We need a national nanny to scold us and give us discipline, to point out our shortcomings and correct our behavior. Or at least a national dominatrix to suspend us from the ceiling and spit on us should we err.

3. Reality TV is Awful. If one could say anything positive about the Holocaust, that catastrophic event in history where six million Jews were barbarically executed, it's this: at least those poor souls aren't alive to witness the cultural abortion that is The X Factor. Or American Idol. Or Dancing with the Stars. Or The Real Housewives of New York City. Or The Jersey Shore. Or a dozen more mediocre turd nuggets that pass for entertainment. Here's why reality TV is turning America into a dystopian gulag only Kafka could admire: it's utter manipulation so appealing, the masses don't realize they're being brainwashed by a cast of hedonistic, banal bottom dwellers. You know times have changed when Beavis and Butthead isn't the stupidest thing on television. Mike Judge's creation was a satirical look at culturally backward, ignorant youth. It was anti-intellectualism on a grand scale. Now we have a festival of retards parading around proclaiming their ignorance and getting cut fat paychecks to do so.

4. Our Leaders Are Corrupt. Not since the days of ancient Rome when Caligula made his horse Incitatus a counsel and fucked his sister have human leaders been so decadent. In America, Congress' approval rating hovers at 9 percent. That's no joke. As of today, Nov. 25, 2011, only 9 percent of the public approves the way Congress is operating. Even Al-Quaeda has a higher approval rating. Why this abysmal performance? American politics is about winning, not doing the right thing. Both parties - the Democrats and Republicans - are dysfunctional and incalcitrant, preferring to appease their financial backers and lobbyists instead of doing the right thing for the people. They also circumvent the Constitution like it's some hot new game at a swanky Washington D.C. cocktail party. The latest bumper crop of Republican presidential candidates have garnered vast support and present a plethora of ideas before the public, most of which are reactionary and thwart progress. The Democrats are too wimpy to embolden themselves and only tout bigger government. American politics breaks down like this: they're all crooks who whine when they don't get their way, but remind us of how good compromising is, even though that's the last thing they would ever do. Meanwhile, the money-filled dumptrucks keep unloading into their personal coffers.

That pretty much covers it. We're lazy, slovenly, the bearer of low standards and we just don't give a shit. The Chinese are communists and we're in debt to them. Our politicians are spewing such hateful venom at anyone who doesn't believe in Jesus, guns and the cleansing power of brutal violence.

America is like a sickly patient in need of a life-saving operation, and the only surgeon we have has beefy, clumsy, twitching hands. If we're going to get out of this alive and pull ourselves up, we've got to get our collective national shit together. We've got to focus on the things that really matter and delete the trivial, mundane bullshit that make political pundits chortle with orgasmic glee.

We've got to dare ourselves to be a kinder, respectful and better country.

We have a reputation to uphold.

Let's not lose sight of that now, people.

Song of the Occupiers

I've suspended any opinions on the Occupy Wall Street movement and the 99 percenters for weeks, because I wanted to educate myself on their organization beyond the reports from the mainstream media outlets.

This is a very contentious issue.

On one hand, you have people who truly feel disenfranchised and alienated by what they perceive as a culture of corporate greed, where the chips are stacked against them and success and the American Dream are inconceivable.

On the other hand, you have people who view the protesters as a horde of unwashed freaks, the bastard children of Woodstock and the commune culture of the 1960s who wish to embrace socialism and forego personal hygiene.

Ask any member of the Tea Party movement about the Occupy Wall Street crowd, and you'll get prune-faced grimaces and hear derisive critiques such as "Nobody knows what they stand for" or "They don't even know what they're protesting."

Bullshit.

The mainstream media characterizes the protestors as hippies and losers who chant, wear Guy Fawkes masks and tote signs with pithy slogans chastising Wall Street for their insatiable greed.

I think some of the protestors are truly concerned about falling behind and being forgotten, while others are there for the carnival-like atmosphere. Most are young and glom on to any movement just to blow off steam. Some are ranting about the war, while others blame Washington.

The fact that it's a leaderless movement doesn't help their cause, either. There should be organization and a concise message to the movement.

What we see now are protests all over this great nation of ours, mobs of angry youths who essentially have no confidence in unfettered capitalism.

The Tea Party stand behind Wall Street and capitalism, because they represent the God-fearing American right to make as much money as possible.

Not only does Wall Street and the corporate robber barons make a boatload of money, but they have a penchant for sticking it to the little guy who is struggling for survival.

According to a new census measure, 49.1 million Americans are poor. These are people having problems with medical expenses and paying bills.

God bless America!

Presidential candidate Herman Cain, who claims God persuaded him to run for president, said if you're poor, it's your own fault.

If Horatio Alger saw what was going on today, he'd wonder why the Occupiers didn't get any old job and be happy with it, for struggling and labor are the pathways to success.

Writer Ayn Rand wrote: "In the normal conditions of existence, man has to choose his goals, project them in time, pursue them and achieve them by his own effort. He cannot do it if his goals are at the mercy of and must be sacrificed to any misfortune happening to others."

Jesus Christ, who many politicians invoke and wouldn't mind breaking bread with at their local country clubs (the ones that don't restrict Jews), once said: "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy. Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God. Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

It should be noted that Jesus hated rich people. He loathed the hypocrisy.

Seems the hypocrites who own everything in America and who treat the unwashed masses like cattle are fond of proselytizing and attend church. They laud family values and God all the while greed consumes them and they take more and more.

If one works hard, one should be entitled to the fruits of their labor. However, you are only entitled to the fruits of your labor, not the entire orchard.

A century from now, how will America be remembered? When our descendants look back at the beginning of the 21st Century, will they view us with jaundiced eyes, embarrassed of our bickering and fighting? Will they see the Tea Party labeling President Obama as a foreign-born socialist and the Democrats as unpatriotic traitors? Will they see the Occupy Wall Street movement as condemning the Republicans as rich elitists and Nazis? Will future Americans, watching old videos of our civilization wonder why Congress didn't act sooner to avert the financial crisis?

What will they think of us, these people in the far distant future?

Will we have failed them?

Will they view the incalcitrant Congress as creating a logjam via divisiveness and hate?

If America sinks, it won't be at the hands of a foreign terrorist or an army of Mexicans streaming across the border.

It will be because of our stubborness and pride.