Saturday, June 30, 2012

Guess Who's Moved In?

It's been two weeks since my girlfriend moved in with me and I haven't abandoned all hope, changed my name and joined a cult in Wyoming.

 In fact, having her live with me feels refreshingly comfortable, like slipping on a well-worn overcoat that keeps you toasty warm in the winter.

 Sure, it was an initial shock dealing with the oddities of feminine hygiene products and cluttering the spare room with all of her possessions. And having to wash an abundance of pink clothing was weird. And the various odors wafting from the bathroom. Yet, the benefits of cohabitation far outweigh any disadvantages.

 Initially, I thought the loss of space and privacy would be problematic, yet our work schedules ensure we will both have our private time. I need a few hours to write, while she needs a few hours to watch Judge Joe Brown and Maury Povich.

 You know; the important shit.

 Plus, she cooks delicious, healthy meals and tidies up the apartment. It's like being married, but with sex.

The strangest thing is, having her live with me has been good for my cat, who spent most of his time alone in the apartment while I was working. Poor kitty slept, stared out windows and moped about like an angsty emo teen. All that changed when my girlfriend moved in. The cat now cuddles with her on the couch, curled into a loving, purring furball.

 Now I haven't lived with a woman since I was married, so I'm not used to bunking with crazy. However, my girlfriend is different from the psychotic shewolves I lived with in the past. She doesn't flip out at the most innocuous things, nor does she throw tantrums, cry or snipe at me like some hormonal Tazmanian devil. Putting it bluntly, she's what I need right now.

When one reaches middle age, one has a boorish tendency to romanticize the past, to evaluate previous accomplishments and shuffle through memories. I've reviewed my life and weighed the trials and tribulations more frequently now. I can say that I need her now more than ever. She came along when she did for a reason.

I'm not saying its some grandiose cosmic plan, or a predestined eventuality slated to occur which in turn will align the stars and bring harmony to the universe. I am saying that it begins a new chapter in a life that's been pretty boring up until now.

 Maybe she's a reward for years of loneliness and dealing with sluts and harpies. Maybe she's just what I need now to keep the crazies at bay. Whatever it is, we love and respect each other, even if her hairs clog the sink.

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