Thursday, October 25, 2012

Anyone Say Anything Stupid About Rape?

For Indiana Senate candidate Richard Mourdock, the shit hit the fan when he defended his stance on abortion, that quirky, delightful issue that causes grown people to flail their arms wildly, gaze skyward and invoke Jesus’ name, or, depending where you are, produce poster-sized images of bloody, mangled fetuses.

Mourdock, at a debate on Oct. 23, explained why he opposes abortion, even in the cases of rape and incest. He said “I struggled with it myself for a long time, but I came to realize that life is that gift from God. And, I think, even when life begins in the horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen.”

Mourdock later said his comment was taken out of context; “I said life is precious. I believe life is precious. I believe rape is a brutal act. It is something that I abhor. That anyone could come away with any meaning other than what I just said is regrettable, and for that I apologize.”

So in other words, Mourdock hates rape, but if a women is raped, it’s all part of God’s twisted divine plan?

The comments are just one example of what liberal pundits and overtly-dramatic types are calling the GOP’s “War on Women,” although I prefer the more striking moniker “Gynopocalypse.”

So what do these dorks in suits and neckties have to say about rape, and why? Why is rape the latest platter in the 24-hour news buffet?

 Missouri Congressman Todd Akin, who opposes abortion, even in cases of rape, ignited this powder keg when he said in August that pregnancies from rape were “really rare”. Akin said, “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down. But let’s assume that maybe that didn’t work or something; I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be of the rapist and not attacking the child.”

Vice Presidential candidate, Congressman Paul Ryan, sponsored the proposed “No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act”, which qualifies victims of “forcible rape” for federal funding for abortions.
Isn’t the definition of rape forcible? It’s not exactly something you ease into.

Republican men seem to be commenting more and more on rape, and each puzzling, ear-bleeding, cringe-inducing quote is worse than the next. Either they are totally clueless regarding anatomy, physiology or how vaginas work, or they’re trying to piss off every woman on the planet.

Consider Idaho state Senator Chuck Winder’s comment in March: “I would hope that when a woman goes in to a physician with a rape issue, that physician will indeed ask her about perhaps marriage, was this pregnancy caused by normal relations in a marriage or was it truly caused by a rape. I assume that’s part of the counseling that goes on.”

Or former Senator and shit splooge Rick Santorum’s January statement: “I think the right approach is to accept this horrible created – in the sense of rape – but nevertheless a gift in a very broken way, the gift of human life, and accept that God has given to you…rape victims should make the best of a bad situation.”

Cheer up, ladies! Robbing your human dignity, self worth and violating your bodies and souls isn’t all bad! You’re knocked up now!

Incidentally, Santorum was the only one of these guys to actually take home dead baby from the hospital and show it to his kids. I know it was a way for him to deal with such a tragic loss, but, ew, that’s pretty fucking macabre.

But the worst quote, the one which makes the rest of these frat boy misogynists look chivalrous and couth, comes from former Texas gubernatorial candidate Clayton Williams: “If it’s inevitable, just relax and enjoy it.”

This callous disregard for women and the insensitivity they’ve shown regarding the most heinous act of rape makes me wonder if there’s something else at work here, under the surface.

No empathy or remorse is a sign of a sociopath. The way some of these candidates are talking, you’d think they view women as trundling womb sockets for wee-wees instead of complete human beings.

It also makes me wonder if rape is the only way these Republicans have sex. Drink a few beers, bitch about how that uncircumcised Muslim Negroid in the White House is crapping on the constitution and their blood boils into a furious, frenzied rage before they take it out on the date they arranged on Craigslist.

Don’t these guys know every time they speak into a live microphone, the world is listening? We scrutinize politicians more than ever, ad nauseam, it seems.

Yet they want to have some good-natured back-slappin’ and joshing about rape and women’s anatomy and God’s will. 

The scary part is many of these Christians aren’t asking “What Would Jesus Do”, but taking their cues from the Old Testament, where God cheered on rape. Not once or twice, but several times.
Here are citations in the Bible where God approves rape, pillage and murder: Numbers 31:7-18, Deuteronomy 20:10-14, Deuteronomy 21:10-14, Deuteronomy 22:28-29, Deuteronomy 22:23-24, Judges 5:30, Judges 21:10-24, Zechariah 14:1-2.

For politicians and political wanna-bes to bring religion into this is unconscionable and a cop-out. It’s almost as if they’re justifying the crime of rape, as if God’s invisible hand guides the rapist to bring misery upon the woman. It’s a sick, demented scenario no rational person would endorse.

But why is it happening? Because saying a woman can’t get an abortion after she’s been violated kinda makes you look like a dick. It makes voters wonder does this guy have a wife or daughters and how do they feel about it?

When you have men making laws for women without the participation of women, that’s beyond draconian. It reeks of exclusion and is just awful policy.

Maybe these guys should be forced to tour rape shelters and listen to women who’ve been raped. Maybe sit in on a group therapy session to get the full effect of rape’s psychological scars.

It’s the Republican wet dream to overturn Roe v. Wade. They’ve been plotting it for years, like the Rapture.

For every politician who wants a rape victim to carry her pregnancy to term, I think an equal treatment should be meted out on the politicians themselves, so they can experience the gut-wrenching horror of rape and it’s so-called “God-given gift of life”.

The politicians themselves should be raped, and not by a dominatrix with a strap-on. Not whimsical finger-up-the-pooper assplay. No, they should be set upon by hardcore prisoners, tattooed lifers who’d love to get their hands on frightened old white men from the rural Midwest. After an hour-long butt-pounding in the prison showers, where they’re each passed around like a joint in a college dorm room, these self-righteous women-bashers will see the light.

Maybe then they wouldn’t be so keen to philosophize on women’s issues and embarrass themselves.

Here’s hoping.

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