Thursday, August 1, 2013

Motherhoodwinked


Proving CNN is at the vanguard of supplying the world with relevant information, the network's website ran an essay by writer Zoe Zorka today, where she bemoans her difficult decision not to have children.

Double Z's gripes stemmed from her own feelings and views on child-rearing and motherhood, and how stigmatized she is for not wanting her vagina to be a two-way street instead of a vacant cul-de-sac.

I know plenty of women who don't want children. It's their personal choice, and I respect that.

Time Magazine tackled the subject in a cover story entitled "Having It All Without Having Children", which includes the following: "The decision to have a child or not is a private one, but it takes place, in America, in a culture that often equates womanhood with motherhood."

But Zorka, 27, takes it too far, comparing herself to a civil rights champion persecuted for choosing not to plop out a few kids.

Read her crazy screed here: http://www.cnn.com/2013/08/01/living/parents-irpt-zorka-no-kids/index.html#cnn-disqus-area.

I know, right?

Pretty self-absorbed and delusional, even for a Millennial.

When I first read this, I though, "Oh, I see what you're doing, CNN! You're putting stories from The Onion on your news site! Quite a jape, you scurvy knaves!"

However, it's no joke. She fancies herself as an activist facing discrimination:

"I've had women tell me that I was a horrible person, a horrible wife and a horrible American because it was my "duty" to reproduce. I was shocked to hear such a statement in 2013. I was born in the 1980s -- what I thought was an age of enlightenment in which women no longer were pigeonholed into such archaic stereotypes."

First, the 1980s were far from an "age of enlightenment". Ever hear of The Thompson Twins? Rick Astley? Kajagoogoo? Don't fling yourself before us as some martyr for a greater cause. Choosing not to do something doesn't make you a victim of injustice. Being excluded from doing something others do makes you a victim of injustice. Perspective and context matter here. Civil rights activists of the 1960s fought an unjust system for black equality and fair treatment. They suffered death threats, beatings and some were murdered. You're bitched at by some redneck North Carolina housewife and suddenly you're Gandhi?

I don't see black-clad government troops surrounding your uterus and seizing it. There's no Department of Fertility and Infant Creation. When the feds strap you to a gurney and pump you full of fertility drugs and the sperm from Nobel laureates, then you can complain. Until that horrific dystopia arrives, you're just another entitled, over-educated young American turning a personal choice into a controversy.

"I identify with many of my gay and lesbian friends in that I've always felt I should be honest about who I was. I don't think it's right to have to say, "Well, we'll have kids someday," just as I don't think it's right for a gay man to have to say, "Someday I'll meet a nice girl and settle down." Like him, this is simply who I am."

Here's where the argument really veers into Crazyland. Gays and lesbians face prejudice and ignorance every day, and some of it not ending well. Remember Matthew Shepard, that 21-year old gay man tortured to death in Colorado? Or Mark Carson, a 32-year old gay man shot in the face in New York? Or any of the 30 gay, lesbian or transgender victims murdered by hate crimes in 2011, the highest in one year? With the exception of the Middle East, where are childless women tortured to death or killed outright? The self-righteous brittle old busybodies giving you the cold shoulder because your desire not to have babies are not the Mujahideen or the Westboro Baptist Church. They're just Slimfast-drinking, stretch mark-covered bimbos who believe Jesus puts babies in their naughty parts so they could feel less dead inside.

"Like the equal rights crusaders before me who have challenged the beliefs of society with regard to race, gender and sexual orientation, I realize that my views will not always be popular. I just wish to do my part in creating a society that allows everyone, regardless of personal choices, to be accepted and able to express themselves freely without fear of judgment."

I'm sure the real civil rights crusaders who have done and who still do risk their lives fighting oppression think your manifesto is a load of self-absorbed, narcissistic navel-gazing designed to rationalize your petty decision. Choosing not to breed is a personal choice, but it's a choice. Society might judge you and your husband for that decision, and you might get sour looks from country club biddies, but so what? Nobody's burning crosses on your lawn or calling you "faggot" or "queer".

Certain religious affiliations are opposed to your choice because hedonistic lifestyles - such as sex without reproduction - are verboten. Since this isn't the Middle Ages, where the church held considerable influence, who cares? People judge every decision you make. It's 21st Century America, where everyone's restless, bored and opinionated. Whether these opinions rely on common sense is another matter. People undoubtedly called you selfish for not wanting kids. So? It doesn't mean you should turn it into a rallying cry for women shamed by breeders. It's your life and your decision. Don't label yourself an oppressed minority striving to right a social wrong.

Again, I have nothing against women or men who don't want kids. More power to ya. My objection is this whiny bitchfest, a constant carping and cry for attention. Use your creative energies for more important things and stop hogging space on CNN's website; they have to return to providing their audience with more conjecture and pseudo-journalism.