Saturday, August 30, 2008

Grampy & The MILF



The selection of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as John McCain’s running mate shocked many in his party who wondered why the most known Republican would pick someone so unknown.
Palin, 44, is a mother of five and former small town councilwoman and mayor who has served as Alaska’s governor for 20 months. The GOP is hammering Barack Obama on his inexperience (Obama has been a U.S. Senator since 2005; before that he was in the Illinois Senate from 1997 until 2004) and choose Palin, who has less experience than Obama.
The GOP said Palin has more “executive experience” than Obama. Does McCain or anyone else running have “executive experience”?
Who is this enchantress from the frozen north that will be McCain’s numero dos?
When she was younger, Palin won “Miss Congeniality” in a beauty contest and finished second in the miss Alaska pageant. She majored in journalism at the University of Idaho and worked as a sports reporter for a local television station. Palin served on the Wasilla city council and later as its mayor before her election as governor. She supports opening the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to drilling for oil, favors capital punishment and gun education for children. She opposes abortion and gay marriage, yet she vetoed a bill that would have prevented partners of gay state employees from receiving health benefits. She favors teaching students both creationism and evolution.
In choosing Palin, McCain’s camp made one of the most brilliant maneuvers in American politics. Not comfortable in giving the Democrats the monopoly on change, the Republicans chose a woman on their ticket. Not since Geraldine Ferraro ran with Walter Mondale in 1984 has a woman ran on a presidential ticket, and after the drama power-struggle between Obama and Hillary Clinton, the Republicans knew there’d be a lot of pissed off women.
So what does Palin mean for the ticket? It means McCain looks like the maverick he purports to be. Palin is a safe pick, someone who proves the Republicans aren’t a bunch of stodgy old men. Obama’s ad nauseum mantra of change is apparently resonating because McCain, by making his veep a woman, is showing the GOP can be progressive and that the party is not the sausage fest it’s been for over 100 years.
Palin is short on experience, but she has strengths that work in an election based more on who the candidates are rather than what they stand for and their individual track records. Policis is now about superficial impressions and this candidate will work well for the GOP. Here are some of her strengths that could put her and McCain in the White House:

* Palin is hot. Not Sports Illustrated swimsuit model hot, but she’s definitely hot. Okay, she’s very doable.

* Palin is a mother. She’s got five kids. One of them serves in the U.S. Army and will be deployed to Iraq for active duty. One of her kids has Down syndrome. She knows the nurturing, motherly love thing and is a self-described “hockey mom”. And that’s hot.

* Palin has the Everywoman thing going on. She’s not from old money. She’s not entrenched in any oligarchy. Her father was a science teacher and her mother was a secretary. Palin eloped and married her high school sweetheart. She’s got a background that appeals to regular people. That’s also hot.

* She wears glasses and looks like every man’s fantasy librarian. Hot.

* Palin’s record and views on foreign policy is…scant. Nobody outside Alaska knows where she stands yet. Because she’s so new and unheard of, reporters have to dig for any information about her. And if you’re the GOP who wants a candidate without any skeletons in their closet, then this is hot.

* Palin did not run against McCain in the primary, so there are no clips of her criticizing him. The GOP is using clips of Joe Biden hammering Obama from the primary debates.

* Palin is a woman. A woman young enough to appeal to younger women voters and disenchanted Hillary supporters. Her “den mother” qualities appeal to housefraus, career women and anyone else with a vagina. And that’s hot.

* Palin loves guns. She’s a member of the NRA and kills animals. Again, hot.

* Did you know Palin once smoked marijuana? Though legal at the time in Alaska, Palin smoked a doobie. Now that’s hot. She later said she didn’t like it. Sure, Sarah. Sure…

* She shares a last name with Michael Palin, member of Monty Python. Not really hot, but just an interesting factoid.

So to recap: McCain picked an appealing woman who will please the social conservatives, disenfranchised women who feel politics is a cock party, and someone with no substantive positions on foreign policy and international affairs. Biden will destroy her in the debates, then look like a bully for picking on a girl.
Hillary supporters might be less inclined to vote for the McCain ticket once they know Palin's views on abortion, guns and the war in Iraq.
Palin might surprise us all. She might be a hotter version of Margaret Thatcher: a tough-as-nails broad who wants to mix it up with the big boys. She might be this, we don’t know. McCain’s selection does have its merits, but is also polarizing and could backfire. He’s really putting everything on the line with Palin. Whether she’s aggressive and speaks her mind or is a good-looking Stepford puppet remains to be seen.
For now, this presidential race got a hell of a lot more interesting…and hotter.

No comments: