I've been a journalist for 14 years and never before have I noticed the utter stupidity filtering through certain national media outlets as I've witnessed in the last few months. Lipstick on a pig, anyone? I remember when election coverage focused on the issues, with a few spasms of bullshit that were usually purged naturally thanks to the 24 hour news cycle.
When I write a political story, I focus on substance and not on gimmicks. I'm not a magician using slight of hand to fool the crowd. Yet political reporting has melded with entertainment. I don't know if I'm reading The Onion or a serious newspaper, and that's fucked up.
Here are some real stories that are just too dumb to be believed:
* Kawasaki is having trouble keeping up orders from people who want the same style glasses as Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin.
Really? Are you shitting me? Talk about a nation of sheep.
* Caroline Baum of Bloomberg News uses the phrase "she has tits" live on the air at 'Fox & Friends.'
Jesse Jackson muttered that he wanted to cut Barrack Obama's "nuts out" into a live microphone. Peggy Noonan, referring to the GOP's choice of Palin, said "I think they went for this political bullshit about narratives" into a live microphone. Does anybody really care who says what into a live mic?
* Michelle Obama tells voters not to vote for a candidate because "I like that guy" or that "she's cute." Asked if she was talking about Palin, Michelle Obama replied "I was talking about me."
I actually got stupider reading this drek.
* A Colorado delegate to the Republican National Convention said he took a woman back to his hotel room in Minneapolis and she drugged and robbed him of $50,000.
What? A Republican hooked up with a woman? Actually, this story made me chuckle. Not because of the whole scheudenfraude thing, but because it happened to a Republican lawyer. Karma is a bitch.
* A Denver college professor assigns his students to write an essay critical of Sarah Palin.
Stories like this provoke outrage at the "liberal educators". Who says our colleges foster healthy debate and disagreement? Colleges are depressing robot factories where the robots get drunk to dull the pain of being taught by snotty assholes.
* Hackers break into Palin's e-mail account and the e-mails are leaked to the Associated Press. The Secret Service asks the AP to turn over the e-mails, but the news agency doesn't comply.
Another story meant to frustrate those who perceive the media as being obstructionists in a federal investigation. If I called the shots at the AP, I'd ask the Secret Service for something in return, like dinner at Delmonico's or a blowjob or possibly both.
* Obama mocks McCain while campaigning in Nevada.
Really? You mean candidates aren't civil towards each other? This is kind of like reporting the very obvious.
* Donald Trump endorses McCain on Larry King.
Do readers really care who The Donald supports? He goes on a talk show only octogenarians watch and espouses his political leanings. Thank God they ran this story. I'd hate to go into the voting booth Nov. 4 and scratch my chin, wondering "Now who does Donald Trump support again?"
* The canine star of "Beverly Hills Chihuahua" was discovered in a shelter.
The fact that there's even a movie called "Beverly Hills Chihuahua" and the dog is voiced by George Lopez proves without a shadow of a doubt that there is no God and we are alone in a dark and uncaring universe.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Bushed
According to Bloomberg.com, Republican political candidates are avoiding President George Bush.
At the GOP convention, Bush's speech was orchestrated so it wouldn't be broadcast during the convention coverage at 10 p.m. John McCain even went so far as to not mention the name of Bush's father, referring to his as "the 41st President".
What happened to Ronald Reagan's 11th commandment: "Thou shalt not speak ill of any fellow Republican"? Uncle Ronnie's gone, and so is the commandment. Oh, the GOP isn't speaking ill of Bush. They're just avoiding him like the plague.
Bush's approval rating is in the low 30s, and his unpopularity high.
Eight years of the most secretive, heavy-handed, arrogant administration of neocons shouldn't be given the opportunity to influence policy again. They should be in the penalty box for the next four years.
It's both funny and sad.
Funny because the party that backed Bush's war years ago are disowning him and treating him like a pariah. Sad because the GOP will probably win in November even though they don't deserve it.
How do you win an election when the incumbent President of your party is about as popular as the Ebola virus? Run as an outsider and a reformer!
Does anyone really think that John McCain will reform anything? That he'll go against the grain of his party and his benefactors and undo what Bush has done?
I guess partisans love their president only when the president is popular.
At the GOP convention, Bush's speech was orchestrated so it wouldn't be broadcast during the convention coverage at 10 p.m. John McCain even went so far as to not mention the name of Bush's father, referring to his as "the 41st President".
What happened to Ronald Reagan's 11th commandment: "Thou shalt not speak ill of any fellow Republican"? Uncle Ronnie's gone, and so is the commandment. Oh, the GOP isn't speaking ill of Bush. They're just avoiding him like the plague.
Bush's approval rating is in the low 30s, and his unpopularity high.
Eight years of the most secretive, heavy-handed, arrogant administration of neocons shouldn't be given the opportunity to influence policy again. They should be in the penalty box for the next four years.
It's both funny and sad.
Funny because the party that backed Bush's war years ago are disowning him and treating him like a pariah. Sad because the GOP will probably win in November even though they don't deserve it.
How do you win an election when the incumbent President of your party is about as popular as the Ebola virus? Run as an outsider and a reformer!
Does anyone really think that John McCain will reform anything? That he'll go against the grain of his party and his benefactors and undo what Bush has done?
I guess partisans love their president only when the president is popular.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Let the Satire Begin...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8WkCfkQ4DI
With the return of Saturday Night Live comes Tina Fey as Sarah Palin, thus inaugurating political satire to this election. Fey is Palin. She looks and sounds the part and the sketch was truly funny. Amy Poehler played an agitated Hillary Clinton and exhibited a frustration that's both hilarious and biting. Good job, ladies!
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Gettin' Medieval
Your result for The Who Would You Be in 1400 AD Test...
The Harlequin
You scored 50% Cardinal, 41% Monk, 32% Lady, and 43% Knight!
You are a mystery, a jack-of-all-trades. You have the king's ear, but also listen to murmurings of the common folk. You believe in the value of force and also literature. Truly you are the puzzlement of the age.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
How Dare We
I'm amazed at how politicians target the mainstream media outlets as being the root of everything evil. A reporter's role is to ask questions, get the facts and present accurate stories that inform and educate the public.
Politicians portray the media as "elite", "liberal" or "mainstream" or a combination thereof, like "mainstream liberal elite" media.
When John McCain introduced Sarah Palin as his veep choice about one week ago, naturally people were curious. See, that's what happens when presidential candidates introduce their running mates - the people want to know about them.
So when journalists began poking around Alaska for information on Palin, they were bound to uncover a few skeletons in the governor's closet.
Some commentators asked about McCain's vetting process and how long it took for him to choose her. Others discovered that Palin's 17-year old daughter was pregnant. Others found out that as mayor, Palin talked about banning library books because some voters found the language offensive. Still others uncovered federal money earmarked to build the so-called "bridge to nowhere" was spent on infrastructure projects in Alaska instead.
I don't put any stock in television commentators. Most are shallow talking heads who come from broken homes and are still bedwetters. Yet the journalists who ask questions and want to know about Palin's record and her life should not apologize because they're doing their jobs. They're gathering information - unfiltered information - and presenting it to the public.
Yet the McCain camp is playing the old game of shoot the messenger and blaming the media for asking these questions. They call it unfair to Palin, that the liberal media is persecuting her for being a woman and asking such personal questions. They're saying that Joe Biden or Barrack Obama weren't held up to such scrutiny.
I'm tired of the "blame the media" tactics. It's really misdirection, telling people to target the media. After all, our job is to dig into a public official's record and report it to the public. See, unlike despotic regimes with state-run media and propaganda, our free press performs a public service and should treat all candidates equally.
But talk to the Republicans at their convention and they see it differently. To them, the hook-nosed Christ killers that run the liberal media covens are persecuting the darling of the conservative right.
Okay, I'm being sarcastic. Not all Jews control the media. Some are lawyers representing the media.
Still, I couldn't help but think Palin's speech, although not so eloquent as much as it was sniping, actually worked to revitalize her base. Like the Democrats, the Republicans used fear - fear that the voter will make the wrong choice on election day. The Democrats claim that by voting for McCain, America will spend the next thousand years in Iraq and an army of zombies will overrun our cities in the apocalypse. The Republicans claim that if the Democrats get elected, we'll still be in Iraq for a thousand years but the zombies overrunning our cities will be gay.
McCain had a cushy relationship with the media, but now the honeymoon is over. Once known for holding press conferences and having chummy conversations with reporters, McCain hasn't held a press conference in several weeks. The strategy in the McCain camp regarding the media is simple: a complete blackout of information and portraying reporters as the enemy.
They're claiming the media is biased because of the positive stories running about Obama. Commentators fawn over Obama and somewhere in the MSNBC newsroom they've built a statue of him and venerate it with offerings.
Real journalists take no sides. They also shouldn't be shills for any political party, left or right.
And real journalism, at its core, is the reproducing of objective information and facts. The media should not judge Palin over her record or her family. They shouldn't judge that she once said the war was a mission from God. They shouldn't tell the voters she hired a lawyer to fight the Troopergate incident. According to the McCain camp, the media should report the positive fluffy-wuffy happy news: that she likes mooseburgers and hunts and that her husband races snowmobiles and her son will serve in Iraq.
They think reporters should serve the politicians by supporting their views.
Unfortunately for them, I don't subscribe to this. I think the first defense against tyranny or corruption is a vigilant, free press.
Sorry for the intrusion, ma'am, but it's my job.
Politicians portray the media as "elite", "liberal" or "mainstream" or a combination thereof, like "mainstream liberal elite" media.
When John McCain introduced Sarah Palin as his veep choice about one week ago, naturally people were curious. See, that's what happens when presidential candidates introduce their running mates - the people want to know about them.
So when journalists began poking around Alaska for information on Palin, they were bound to uncover a few skeletons in the governor's closet.
Some commentators asked about McCain's vetting process and how long it took for him to choose her. Others discovered that Palin's 17-year old daughter was pregnant. Others found out that as mayor, Palin talked about banning library books because some voters found the language offensive. Still others uncovered federal money earmarked to build the so-called "bridge to nowhere" was spent on infrastructure projects in Alaska instead.
I don't put any stock in television commentators. Most are shallow talking heads who come from broken homes and are still bedwetters. Yet the journalists who ask questions and want to know about Palin's record and her life should not apologize because they're doing their jobs. They're gathering information - unfiltered information - and presenting it to the public.
Yet the McCain camp is playing the old game of shoot the messenger and blaming the media for asking these questions. They call it unfair to Palin, that the liberal media is persecuting her for being a woman and asking such personal questions. They're saying that Joe Biden or Barrack Obama weren't held up to such scrutiny.
I'm tired of the "blame the media" tactics. It's really misdirection, telling people to target the media. After all, our job is to dig into a public official's record and report it to the public. See, unlike despotic regimes with state-run media and propaganda, our free press performs a public service and should treat all candidates equally.
But talk to the Republicans at their convention and they see it differently. To them, the hook-nosed Christ killers that run the liberal media covens are persecuting the darling of the conservative right.
Okay, I'm being sarcastic. Not all Jews control the media. Some are lawyers representing the media.
Still, I couldn't help but think Palin's speech, although not so eloquent as much as it was sniping, actually worked to revitalize her base. Like the Democrats, the Republicans used fear - fear that the voter will make the wrong choice on election day. The Democrats claim that by voting for McCain, America will spend the next thousand years in Iraq and an army of zombies will overrun our cities in the apocalypse. The Republicans claim that if the Democrats get elected, we'll still be in Iraq for a thousand years but the zombies overrunning our cities will be gay.
McCain had a cushy relationship with the media, but now the honeymoon is over. Once known for holding press conferences and having chummy conversations with reporters, McCain hasn't held a press conference in several weeks. The strategy in the McCain camp regarding the media is simple: a complete blackout of information and portraying reporters as the enemy.
They're claiming the media is biased because of the positive stories running about Obama. Commentators fawn over Obama and somewhere in the MSNBC newsroom they've built a statue of him and venerate it with offerings.
Real journalists take no sides. They also shouldn't be shills for any political party, left or right.
And real journalism, at its core, is the reproducing of objective information and facts. The media should not judge Palin over her record or her family. They shouldn't judge that she once said the war was a mission from God. They shouldn't tell the voters she hired a lawyer to fight the Troopergate incident. According to the McCain camp, the media should report the positive fluffy-wuffy happy news: that she likes mooseburgers and hunts and that her husband races snowmobiles and her son will serve in Iraq.
They think reporters should serve the politicians by supporting their views.
Unfortunately for them, I don't subscribe to this. I think the first defense against tyranny or corruption is a vigilant, free press.
Sorry for the intrusion, ma'am, but it's my job.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Maverick
The next time I hear any television commentator, pundit or partisan hack refer to John McCain or any politician as a “maverick,” I’ll start taking hostages.
Why do the talking heads get sucked into this vortex of mediocrity and laziness and mimic each other?
A politician who bucks the establishment, makes deals with the opposing party and has an independent voice for the good of the people is not a maverick. It’s what a politician should be.
How did showing independence and not towing the party line earn McCain the maverick label? It’s like McCain is some kind of dangerous rebel, like he’s Marlon Brando in a leather jacket on a motorcycle giving the establishment the finger while riding through the desert on his way to the Burning Man Festival.
The GOP likes tough, macho language. Maverick sounds like McCain is a gunslinger coming into town to avenge the death of the sheriff. Or maybe he's a riverboat gambler in the poker game of his life, betting the old widow's ranch and staking his reputation on one hand of cards.
Not content to just have McCain bear the maverick brand, the GOP vice presidential candidate, Sarah Palin is also cast as a lone maverick. Palin is a maverick because she took on members of her own party and bucked the status quo. This is a Republican going against Republicans. The GOP calls that a maverick. If a Democrat went against a Democrat, the GOP would call that a traitor.
Speaking of which, Joe Lieberman, a former Democrat-turned-Independent-turned Republican Lite gave a speech at the Republican National Convention Tuesday where he touted McCain’s maverick image.
By labeling McCain and Palin as mavericks, the GOP hopes to diffuse criticism that McCain-Palin will bring more of the same. This leaves the pundits of the right to advocate, “It won’t be more of the same! They’re mavericks!”
It used to be the term “Washington insider” was a filthy description. Saying someone is well-connected in the Beltway was the kiss of death and raises suspicion with a cynical electorate. Now it’s okay to be a Washington insider as long as you’re a maverick.
I can just imagine a scene at the convention, where a Republican operative corners a clueless TV commentator about the maverick mystique the GOP is now embracing.
“Well, McCain’s been in office for 25 years, but he’s a real maverick!” the operative intones, usually over a domestic beer.
“Yes…a maverick,” the TV commentator in the Armani suit says, holding his vodka and cranberry juice. “What a fascinating word…maverick.”
“Barrack Obama is not a maverick. Joe Biden is not a maverick,” the GOP operative says. “In fact, Biden is a Washington insider.”
“How long has Biden been in office?” the commentator asks.
“Since 1973,” the GOP operative says.
“Yikes! That is a long time. No maverick would stick around that long,” the commentator replies.
“And as for Obama…well, he’s a Muslim. You know what they’re like. They’re not like us,” the GOP operative whispers. “They travel to foreign countries and bomb thousands of people they don’t know. You’d never catch an American doing that.”
“Say! That’s right! McCain is a maverick, isn’t he?”
“So is Palin. She’s a maverick,” the GOP operative says, guzzling another beer.
“Palin? Is that the woman nobody in America heard of until last week but the Republicans are supporting her fiercely?” the cynical commentator asks while stuffing a canape into his over-educated maw.
“Sarah Palin would be a great vice president. She has more executive experience than Obama. She’s held elected office longer than Obama,” the GOP operative says. “Plus, she looks great in go-go boots. Can the freshman senator from Illinois claim that?”
“I sure hope not. That would be transvestism.”
“Palin is a maverick. The media is focusing on her 17-year old daughter having a baby. That only reinvigorates the abortion debate, the ultimate wedge issue we’ll use to crush that baby-killing Kenyan,” the GOP operative laughs, his breath reeking of brimstone.
“Wasn't Sarah Palin an advocate for abstinence education? Kinda funny since she has five kids,” the reporter guffaws.
“Well,” the GOP operative replies flatly, “maybe those cold Alaskan nights bring couples together. Maybe her story of family and motherhood will resonate with traditional, conservative voters in the Midwest. Not everyone can be like you hedonistic Manhattan liberals.”
“Golly! I never thought of that! Having babies is a very maverick thing!” the reporter says, before cavorting on the lawn with members of the American Civil Liberties Union in the gayest garden party in Minnesota’s history.
Why do the talking heads get sucked into this vortex of mediocrity and laziness and mimic each other?
A politician who bucks the establishment, makes deals with the opposing party and has an independent voice for the good of the people is not a maverick. It’s what a politician should be.
How did showing independence and not towing the party line earn McCain the maverick label? It’s like McCain is some kind of dangerous rebel, like he’s Marlon Brando in a leather jacket on a motorcycle giving the establishment the finger while riding through the desert on his way to the Burning Man Festival.
The GOP likes tough, macho language. Maverick sounds like McCain is a gunslinger coming into town to avenge the death of the sheriff. Or maybe he's a riverboat gambler in the poker game of his life, betting the old widow's ranch and staking his reputation on one hand of cards.
Not content to just have McCain bear the maverick brand, the GOP vice presidential candidate, Sarah Palin is also cast as a lone maverick. Palin is a maverick because she took on members of her own party and bucked the status quo. This is a Republican going against Republicans. The GOP calls that a maverick. If a Democrat went against a Democrat, the GOP would call that a traitor.
Speaking of which, Joe Lieberman, a former Democrat-turned-Independent-turned Republican Lite gave a speech at the Republican National Convention Tuesday where he touted McCain’s maverick image.
By labeling McCain and Palin as mavericks, the GOP hopes to diffuse criticism that McCain-Palin will bring more of the same. This leaves the pundits of the right to advocate, “It won’t be more of the same! They’re mavericks!”
It used to be the term “Washington insider” was a filthy description. Saying someone is well-connected in the Beltway was the kiss of death and raises suspicion with a cynical electorate. Now it’s okay to be a Washington insider as long as you’re a maverick.
I can just imagine a scene at the convention, where a Republican operative corners a clueless TV commentator about the maverick mystique the GOP is now embracing.
“Well, McCain’s been in office for 25 years, but he’s a real maverick!” the operative intones, usually over a domestic beer.
“Yes…a maverick,” the TV commentator in the Armani suit says, holding his vodka and cranberry juice. “What a fascinating word…maverick.”
“Barrack Obama is not a maverick. Joe Biden is not a maverick,” the GOP operative says. “In fact, Biden is a Washington insider.”
“How long has Biden been in office?” the commentator asks.
“Since 1973,” the GOP operative says.
“Yikes! That is a long time. No maverick would stick around that long,” the commentator replies.
“And as for Obama…well, he’s a Muslim. You know what they’re like. They’re not like us,” the GOP operative whispers. “They travel to foreign countries and bomb thousands of people they don’t know. You’d never catch an American doing that.”
“Say! That’s right! McCain is a maverick, isn’t he?”
“So is Palin. She’s a maverick,” the GOP operative says, guzzling another beer.
“Palin? Is that the woman nobody in America heard of until last week but the Republicans are supporting her fiercely?” the cynical commentator asks while stuffing a canape into his over-educated maw.
“Sarah Palin would be a great vice president. She has more executive experience than Obama. She’s held elected office longer than Obama,” the GOP operative says. “Plus, she looks great in go-go boots. Can the freshman senator from Illinois claim that?”
“I sure hope not. That would be transvestism.”
“Palin is a maverick. The media is focusing on her 17-year old daughter having a baby. That only reinvigorates the abortion debate, the ultimate wedge issue we’ll use to crush that baby-killing Kenyan,” the GOP operative laughs, his breath reeking of brimstone.
“Wasn't Sarah Palin an advocate for abstinence education? Kinda funny since she has five kids,” the reporter guffaws.
“Well,” the GOP operative replies flatly, “maybe those cold Alaskan nights bring couples together. Maybe her story of family and motherhood will resonate with traditional, conservative voters in the Midwest. Not everyone can be like you hedonistic Manhattan liberals.”
“Golly! I never thought of that! Having babies is a very maverick thing!” the reporter says, before cavorting on the lawn with members of the American Civil Liberties Union in the gayest garden party in Minnesota’s history.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Ravaged Birthday
My co-worker and assistant editor Kristen asked me what kind of birthday cake I want this year. I gave her the design of the Ravaged Earth logo and she created a dazzling cake.
Thanks, Kristen. My birthday just got a lot happier.
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